What are you posting on your wall?

A few months ago, I read about a guy who took a picture of a total stranger at an Airport and posted it on his twitter account. He did this in hopes of making fun of this unsuspecting woman and having his followers join in. Somehow the twitter sphere became abuzz by the picture and word got back to the woman that she was a victim of an ill executed public shaming. Instead of responding with anger, the young lady responded with poise and the twit pic poster ended up profusely apologetic. (Click here for the full story).  

Lately, I have seen the same tomfoolery on my Facebook timeline. The practice of people taking pictures of unsuspecting individuals and posting it on their wall for sport has become prevalent. I have thought about it and I just can’t see how any mature adult would think this is acceptable. I consider it a breach of a total stranger’s privacy. More importantly I just think it is mean! I am not perfect (Gasp! Shocking, I know) and I would hate for someone to snap a photo of me at my worst and post it on the internet for the pure entertainment of others.

I also think this practice sends a really bad message to our youth (some of the people doing this are parents!!!!). At a time when our young children are struggling with cyber bullying and committing suicide because of Facebook, twitter, instagram and the like, we as adults should be setting an example for the youth. The story above ended in redemption, Amanda Todd’s story ended in tragedy. The 15 year old posted a cry for help on YouTube then committed suicide. Some people posted some really mean things on her Facebook wall. (Read the full story here). You never know what obstacles and barriers people are facing. I urge my readers to consider the motivation behind the act prior to sharing something mean on their social media. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for freedom of speech and freedom of expression. In a small town like El Dorado, anything posted on Facebook or any other social media outlet is sure to reach a multitude of people. Cafe owner faces backlash after posting picture on Facebook. 

Here is a gospel song telling you to "keep your business off of Facebook!"

Beloved, we are all strangers on this journey we call life. Let’s band together and be accountable to each other, perhaps that act alone can make this trek a little easier. If you ever see me do something that harms my brothers and sisters, please feel free to let me know ever so gently. In return, I promise to be cognizant of what I post on my social media accounts.

Until then, hugs and kisses!         

True Story, I was pregnancy shamed

This past weekend I was pregnancy shamed. Allow me to explain. You may have heard of slut shaming or fat shaming, but rarely do you ever hear of people saying they were pregnancy shamed. Hubby and I went to Houston this past weekend for a baby shower. It was indeed a most enjoyable event! The last guest departed the baby shower at 1:00 am! Yes, I am a party animal.

My day started out normally, as any other day. I got up, ate an emergency breakfast (emergency because ever since I got pregnant, I have to have something in my stomach or else this baby becomes a monster). After eating breakfast and talking to some of my family members, I went upstairs to take a shower and get ready to hit the road back to Arkansas. It was extremely hot, so I picked a maternity dress that was a light and stretchy material. My stomach has gotten bigger so the material accentuated and clung to my stomach. This is the one feature that I liked about the dress because it allowed me to show the evidence of my soon to be baby Diva. I met my little sister and she complimented me on the dress; it made me smile. As I made my way down the stairs, I became aware of the distressed looks I was getting from some of my relatives. The incessant chatter ceased and the room fell quiet. I felt weird but thought I was being paranoid. I made a mental note of how I had checked and double checked my appearance before going down the stairs. So why the weird vibe? At last, one brave soul ventured out to tell me they thought it was best to go back upstairs and change. I asked if she could see my underwear or if the dress was too short. She said no, but that the dress was not appropriate for me to wear. One of her cohorts further explained that the dress would be good for someone who did not have curves, someone tall and slender. She also stated that the dress made me look more compact. I was not satisfied with this explanation. My older sister piped up and asked me to turn sideways because she wanted to see baby Diva in her full glory. She did not seem to have a problem with my outfit.

Hubby loaded the truck and we got ready to speed off to the redneck highway (remote windy two lane roads) to our beloved El Dorado.  As we approached the truck my relatives kept pressuring me to go change prior to my departure. I finally asked why they found this dress so offensive. Finally, one of my shamers stated, “well, the dress would not look so bad if your stomach was not so big...you know if your stomach was smaller.” After picking my jaw off the floor, I mounted the waiting truck and sped off.

Dear reader: I. AM. PREGNANT! Yes, my stomach is big…like a mini beach ball or a round, smooth extra-large bowling ball. It is big and round, like a perfectly shaped dome. It is also beautiful and exquisite; it is carrying life! I could not help but wonder why two women who have had children (emphasis on CHILDREN) felt it was ok to shame another woman because of her glorious pregnant belly. I wasn’t being told to change because my outfit was too provocative, but because of my protruding belly. My big pregnant belly was making them uncomfortable. As our truck carried us up home, I wondered, how can a pregnant woman make her stomach less conspicuous? Should I wear Moo-Moo’s for the rest of the pregnancy? I wistfully turned to my hubby and asked him if he thought I should cease wearing the offending number. He lovingly looked at me and smiled. Then he reassuringly answered, “no babe, your outfit is great, you look beautiful.” With a huge grin on my face, I turned and looked out the window to watch the trees pass in a blur and make our way a little closer to Arkansas. 

Slut shaming, fat shaming and now pregnancy shaming, what has the world come to?

Have you ever been shamed?   

Small Town vs. City Life

Hey Lovies! Sorry I have been away for such an extended period of time. I know that you missed me (don’t lie, you have been waiting for a new post with baited breath.) I have an excuse (hides head in hoodie). I have been fighting sharks! Ok, maybe not real sharks. I have been fighting the sharks of everyday life! I embellish just a little bit, I have not been as busy as I let on, I have just allowed myself to enjoy being in the moment. This past labor day my older sister and my baby sister (she will always be a baby in my eyes) made the eight hour trek to small town El Dorado, Arkansas to let me see my awesome two month old nephew (I am an aunt y’all!) He is super adorable. After the trip I asked my city dwelling baby sister aka Sophisticated Socialite what she thought of small town Arkansas.Yes, believe your eyes, my very first guest post! She sent me her thoughts on Small town living vs. City life that I felt inclined to share with you, my faithful readers!

Small Town Living vs. City Life

Guest post by Sophisticated Socialite

Yes, I’m a city girl and I love it. I think. You know, apart from the traffic, strange people coming up to you at 11 o’clock at night asking for some change and the extra-long lines in the drive through of every fast-food restaurant at lunch time. Truth be told the city may be over populated, but it still has a certain pull to it. I love that I can drive literally 4 miles to the nearest grocery store or find at least 5 things to do if I have no plans for the night, not to mention all of interesting people you are bound to meet.

City living may taking adjusting to, but in my opinion the pros outweigh the cons. I just recently went to a small town (meaning El Dorado, Arkansas) to visit a family member of mine and got a little taste of small town life there. I must say that I was impressed with all of the green trees I saw while I was there. If my nose could talk it would have whispered “thank you” within the first hour. Out in the country life is calm, quiet and humbling. It allowed me to step back and appreciate the simple pleasures of life and my surroundings. I didn’t realize how much I missed seeing nature until it was right in front of me. I think this is one of the biggest differences from living in the city for me. In the city everything can be so fast paced you hardly have time to step back and enjoy the beauty of your surroundings. Oh yeah and the stars (hadn’t seen them in months).

Either way, I don’t believe one is better than the other. I believe what it all comes down to is personal preference, which is subject to change throughout our lives. People may have their different reasons for preferring one over the other. As for me, I guess I’ll be a city girl until life says otherwise!

Are you a city dweller or do you relish small town living? Let me know, leave a comment!

The Default Winner

Four years ago, I took up the game of golf. I only did it because I love my husband. I only did it because I did not want to become a golf widow. It turns out it was a great endeavor. You see, I instantly knew that my boyfriend who soon after became my husband was an avid golfer or in plain terms, a golf addict. I knew that if I ever wanted to see him and spend time with him, I would have to hit the course. Over the years, we have played together in several scrambles and because of my honey’s prowess on the course, we have managed to win. Upon moving to El Dorado, we joined the local country club and have been playing in the Tuesday night couples scramble organized by the Club.

Recently, my honey and I decided to ditch the gym in exchange for walking 9 holes every day after work. So, I was not at all surprised this past Tuesday when he proudly announced that he had registered me for a one Lady scramble. Immediately, I saw a montage of the Rocky training scenes. Then I was gripped by the thought that I was not ready. As the week progressed, I was encouraged. My confidence was boosted by the fact that we won the couples scramble this past Tuesday. On Friday night, I could not sleep. I tossed and turned worrying about the Michelle Wies and the Natalie Gublis that were waiting for me on the golf course on Saturday morning. I have to admit, I was freaking out!!!!!

Early Saturday morning (after a night of intense wine drinking), I stumbled out of the bed wishing I had the foresight to cancel on Friday afternoon. After a quick run to Shipley’s donuts ( breakfast of the champions), I was ready to ball (or drive) on my opponents. I was ready to play! I got dressed in my nice khakis and my husband’s official looking golf jacket (it was dreary and cold). I got to the golf course with my husband/caddy ready to dominate. Then I received the devastating (ahemm, awesome) news. Five contestants canceled and one individual was a no show. I am the only one who showed up! Really? Was it dedication or madness? I showed up and therefore was victorious over those who did not. I take my victories where I can find them, and I was particularly thankful for this one.

Can I truly and in good conscience count this as a win? Have you ever won by default or had similar experience?

Whiplash & Backlash: The Coach Bobby Petrino scandal and the Razorback outrage

When the world first heard about Bobby Petrino’s motorcycle accident, people all over the nation expressed their well wishes. Nobody expected to wake up a couple days later to have the rug pulled from under them. When my husband yanked open the shower door to tell me that Coach Petrino was involved in single vehicle motorcycle accident, it took a few explanations for me to understand. Now that new facts have emerged, lives are going to change. Some people are upset that the Coach has been put on administrative leave. But I think that is the best solution for everyone including the Coach, the team and the fans.

 Coach Petrino’s family will have to start the healing cycle. It does not bode well that he had to have an accident for the affair to come to light. His situation was not improved by the fact that he blatantly lied about the parties involved in the crash. One can only speculate what led to the recent events. Perhaps his spouse suspected an affair or maybe she was a dotting wife and did not know. Either way, they will have to decide where to go from here. It could tear them apart or it could test the very fabric of their relationship but leave their relationship in-tact. Coach Petrino will have to work on rebuilding trust with his family.

The administrative leave will allow team members and Hog fans come to terms with their disappointment. Coach Petrino is a highly regarded member of the society and has been looked upon favorably thus far. Young men of the community are entrusted to him by their hopeful parents as an example of what to aspire to be. Perhaps the notion that money and power make people in places of power more susceptible to cheat is true. Many can recall the very recent and public scandals of Tiger Woods, Strauss Kahn, Anthony Weiner and Arnold Schwarzenegger, just to name a few. I just worry about the message being sent to young men at this day and age.

What of the young lady Ms. Jessica Dorrell you ask? Well, from my understanding she was betrothed to be married on June 9^th. I hope for her sake and for her fiancé’s sake they at least postpone the wedding to get professional help. Yes, she is 25 and she made a bad choice by becoming involved with a married man who also turned out to be her boss. I imagine that staying in her current position will not be pleasant. Hopefully she can sort out this mess and move on.

The Hog nation is abuzz with news of Coach Petrino’s indiscretion. It is my hope that all the omitted details have emerged and nothing else will come out of the woodwork. I predict that by tomorrow Twitter, Facebook, ESPN and all the sports networks will be talking about this.

I think a hog fan on the radio said it best this afternoon, in regards to the Coach Bobby Petrino situation…”Go Hogs anyway!”

What are your thoughts on this?

http://www.sbnation.com/ncaa-football/2012/4/6/2930666/bobby-petrino-suspended-arkansas-fans-reaction/in/2683816
http://www.sbnation.com/ncaa-football/2012/4/6/2931427/bobby-petrino-911-call-audio-transcript/in/2683816

http://www.sbnation.com/ncaa-football/2012/4/6/2931025/bobby-petrino-scandal-police-captain-lance-king

http://www.cbssports.com/collegefootball/story/18348238/petrino-firing-offense-not-adultery-or-lie-but-putting-arkansas-at-risk