Whiplash & Backlash: The Coach Bobby Petrino scandal and the Razorback outrage

When the world first heard about Bobby Petrino’s motorcycle accident, people all over the nation expressed their well wishes. Nobody expected to wake up a couple days later to have the rug pulled from under them. When my husband yanked open the shower door to tell me that Coach Petrino was involved in single vehicle motorcycle accident, it took a few explanations for me to understand. Now that new facts have emerged, lives are going to change. Some people are upset that the Coach has been put on administrative leave. But I think that is the best solution for everyone including the Coach, the team and the fans.

 Coach Petrino’s family will have to start the healing cycle. It does not bode well that he had to have an accident for the affair to come to light. His situation was not improved by the fact that he blatantly lied about the parties involved in the crash. One can only speculate what led to the recent events. Perhaps his spouse suspected an affair or maybe she was a dotting wife and did not know. Either way, they will have to decide where to go from here. It could tear them apart or it could test the very fabric of their relationship but leave their relationship in-tact. Coach Petrino will have to work on rebuilding trust with his family.

The administrative leave will allow team members and Hog fans come to terms with their disappointment. Coach Petrino is a highly regarded member of the society and has been looked upon favorably thus far. Young men of the community are entrusted to him by their hopeful parents as an example of what to aspire to be. Perhaps the notion that money and power make people in places of power more susceptible to cheat is true. Many can recall the very recent and public scandals of Tiger Woods, Strauss Kahn, Anthony Weiner and Arnold Schwarzenegger, just to name a few. I just worry about the message being sent to young men at this day and age.

What of the young lady Ms. Jessica Dorrell you ask? Well, from my understanding she was betrothed to be married on June 9^th. I hope for her sake and for her fiancé’s sake they at least postpone the wedding to get professional help. Yes, she is 25 and she made a bad choice by becoming involved with a married man who also turned out to be her boss. I imagine that staying in her current position will not be pleasant. Hopefully she can sort out this mess and move on.

The Hog nation is abuzz with news of Coach Petrino’s indiscretion. It is my hope that all the omitted details have emerged and nothing else will come out of the woodwork. I predict that by tomorrow Twitter, Facebook, ESPN and all the sports networks will be talking about this.

I think a hog fan on the radio said it best this afternoon, in regards to the Coach Bobby Petrino situation…”Go Hogs anyway!”

What are your thoughts on this?

http://www.sbnation.com/ncaa-football/2012/4/6/2930666/bobby-petrino-suspended-arkansas-fans-reaction/in/2683816
http://www.sbnation.com/ncaa-football/2012/4/6/2931427/bobby-petrino-911-call-audio-transcript/in/2683816

http://www.sbnation.com/ncaa-football/2012/4/6/2931025/bobby-petrino-scandal-police-captain-lance-king

http://www.cbssports.com/collegefootball/story/18348238/petrino-firing-offense-not-adultery-or-lie-but-putting-arkansas-at-risk

Intentional Success

“Plan tomorrow tonight. Don't just let the day happen to you - Success is intentional” – Shun Strickland

As soon as those words came across my computer screen, I felt a deep case of déjà vu. I have often muttered the same words after a grueling race to accomplish an impossible task. Mind you, the same task would have been possible with enough preparation, but due to procrastination, I am often left scrambling. Ok, so I already have a clear understanding of the essence of what the message was telling me. Proper planning, efficiency, and success walk hand in hand. Those same attributes are what I strive for. Intentional success is something that I have desired for years. I have practiced it on several occasions and it has worked wonderfully. 

So why have I become known as the queen of procrastination you ask? Well, it is something that I just kind of fell into, just like many things in my life. As a young teenager, I remember my older sister admonishing me by using the adage “poor planning leads to poor performance which yields poor results.” At the time, her words were met with fierce eye rolls. Deep inside, I knew she was right. I used to thrive and survive on the adrenaline of last minute cramming or worse, last minute research paper writing. Over the years, I convinced myself that I did my best work under pressure. I got away with it in undergraduate school work, but it came back to haunt me in Law School. In my adult years, intentional success is what I desire and procrastination is something that I now want to nip in the bud. They say “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks,” but I believe that there is always an exception to every rule. As a young professional, I want to be the best at what I do. I want to be so far ahead of the game that nobody can ever accuse me of slacking.

How will I accomplish my goal of intentional success? Well, there are a lot of factors that have to come together in perfect celestial harmony (perhaps I am being a tad bit over dramatic.)

The said factors are:
1. Taking a personal inventory of my current situation
2. Setting goals and commitments
3. Developing mechanisms to abandon the need for external affirmation
4. Forced repetition
5. Doing proper research and self evaluation when I do not achieve the desired results
6. Engaging in activities that interest me
7. Developing a support system
8. Repeating steps 1-7 until it becomes a way of life

I have set these rules for myself. In the following days I will post several blog entries containing a brief breakdown of how I arrived at the aforementioned 7 rules. I will explore each of them in separate posts. In developing the rules, I realized that I needed a short and sweet view of what I needed to work on. Having a long list of goals would only serve to confuse me. I thought long and hard about what I need to change at this point in my life to be able to achieve intentional success. These rules do not apply to everyone, as we are all different. These rules were developed after a personal inventory of my strengths and weaknesses.

Are you on a personal quest for Intentional Success or have you achieved Intentional Success? If so, how did you do it and what were your experiences? Feel free to share your ideas.   

Summer Weight loss

Bathing suit weather is fast approaching and I long to lounge by the pool and wile away the dog days of summer. In the past few months, I have packed on the pounds and I have become a bit apprehensive about appearing in the public clad in small pieces of fabric. My Bestie, who recently had a baby, and I have decided to lose weight together. I figure that having a support network would not hurt. So now you are probably wondering, what’s next? I want to keep my plan simple and my goals realistic. My husband and I have been walking and playing nine holes at the El Dorado Country Club and golf course every day after work, and I would like to continue that. It has given us a chance to enjoy each other’s company while I benefit from his tutelage. I will not be Michelle Wie by the end of the summer, but a girl can dream. I want to add two days of 30 minutes of cardio and weightlifting to what I am currently doing. I will do three sets of 15 push-ups every morning.

My main challenge lies in limiting my portions at meal times and eating less carbohydrates (oh potatoes and pastas, this will be the last time you entice me). I will strive to drink a lot of water everyday. Albeit sad, my love affair with food has to end sometime, and there is no time like the present.

 My goal is to lose about 15 pounds in two months. To some this does not sound like a great feat. But let me remind you, I am the girl who refused to lose weight for her wedding. Not that I did not want to, truth be told, I had the desire, but not the will. So to me, 15 might as well be 100.   

I was told that Rome was not built in one day and I hope that by making these minor adjustments, I could see enough results to make more drastic lifestyle changes. I am certainly not dying to be thin, but I would like to be comfortable. Going forth, let the loosing begin!

Do you have any summer weight loss goals? If so, what are they?

Gun Totting Diva

This Saturday I had the wonderful experience of taking a gun safety and concealed carry weapon permit class. The class was all day, but was a very much needed experience. My husband was raised around guns and was definitely good at using them. I, on the other hand, had never even fired a round. Prior to the class, my only encounter with guns consisted of the video game duck hunt and clay shooting (think early 90’s Nintendo). 

I went to the class confident and ready to shoot. I had visions of being a sharp shooter. I thought I was going to do damage to the paper targets. First, the instructor had the class use his gun to dry shoot (sans bullets). The gun was black, small and shinny. I held it and it felt just right. I approached the target. I correctly positioned my hands, aimed, and placed my finger on the trigger. When the instructor yelled “fire!” I squeezed the trigger. Then I squeezed again, and again…and again, nothing happened. I squeezed so hard that my hands started shaking. The gun was too big! My fingers were too short! After another failed attempt, the instructor told me to simply aim, point and instead of attempting to fire the gun, I was told to simply yell “bang!”….Sigh…. nothing could be so embarrassing (it felt like a swift kick to the ovaries). My situation was not made any better when an older lady taking the class walked up to the target and was able to squeeze the trigger. Being the only one relegated to yelling “bang” made me feel like the last puppy in the box. 

When we got to our truck, my husband (my biggest cheerleader and hype man) filled my head with visions of me stealthily crawling through barbed wire and shooting at my target. Yes, in the five minute conversation, I was deemed “the kneecap assassin”. By the time we arrived at the shooting range, I was ready to shoot any tree and grasshopper that looked or even dared to look at me. My husband loaded my weapon of choice a .22 caliber sig mosquito. I gripped my gun, pointed and fired. It felt good! I fired my sweet .22 and gained confidence with each round. By the time we left the range, 100 bullets were spent. 

The class made me realize the need for and importance of gun safety and self defense. If you or anyone in El Dorado, Arkansas is seriously considering getting a concealed carry weapon permit consider taking Larry Combs’ class. I am now a proud and responsible owner of a sleek .22 caliber named Betty….Betty Gun. I am seriously thinking of adding some serious bling-age by bedazzling my sweet .22. I am going to buy a caliber firearm to match my age on each corresponding birthday; Next up, .25! 

Have you taken a gun safety class? What was your experience like?

Manpolish: The love affair between men & nail polish

Summer is almost here and I feel a need to be bold and sassy. Flip flop weather brings out the need to display my summer toes, or in the famous words of my law school colleague and live male alter ego C.S.Gorman “summer hooves.”

I like nail polish. In fact there were years when my nails never saw the light of day without nail polish. The fondness quickly faded once I joined a female collegiate club side rugby team and had to keep my nails extremely short. Coupled with the constant worry of embarrassment of peeling nail polish, I decided that less is more and eventually settled on none at all.

Lately I have seen many males with a penchant for nail polish. The weird thing is, male celebrities wearing nail polish is common place in our society. Many have seen polish on the nails of celebrities such as Seal, Dave Navarro, David Beckham, Johnny Depp and Cash Warren. Nail polish on regular professional non-celebrity males is an anomaly. So, you can imagine my eye brow raise of surprise to see men wearing nail polish. Why is this surprising? Who designated nail polish “for females only?” and more importantly, why is the topic of “manpolish” blog worthy? Well, because the topic interests, intrigues and confuses me at the same time. I live in small town Arkansas and seeing young men wearing nail polish is evidence of the power and pull of fashion, the retail industry, social media and societal trends. There are actually websites like alphanail.com that sell nail polish for men. Don't believe me? You can see for yourself by going to Alpha Nail

After a brief soul searching, I have arrived at the conclusion that we are all slaves to fashion in some way. I like to wear nail polish because I love bright bold colors. I also like nail polish because quite frankly nail polish hides the imperfections on my toes. If wearing nail polish is a male’s way of expressing themselves, then manpolish it is! I have a feeling that this is one fashion trend that might not easily catch on with the males in my household, unless I can find nail polish in camouflage or hunting vest orange!


What are your thoughts on this? 


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2084068/Why-real-men-wear-nail-polish.html 


http://www.divinecaroline.com/22072/39473-men-nail-polish

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/fashion/nail-polish-men-latest-trend-grooming-article-1.971247

Winds of change: one step closer to finding my identity

I recently met a friend for lunch at a local bakery and café. My heart beat in anticipation as I approached her table. I had made a change and the change was significant. She slowly looked up and I saw the recognition fill her eyes. I also detected the shock that she quickly suppressed at my altered appearance and masked with a smile. “Wow, who are you trying to be like?” What she meant was, what look was I going for? I knew what she meant; in-fact, I had often asked people about their looks. For example, my older sister wears her hair short. She often rocks the Nia Long cut which she alternates with a Halle Berry inspired pixie cut. Baby boomers will always love the Farah Fawcett swoop. For the generation X-ers, there has never been a more popular look than the Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) hair cut. By now reader you get my drift. So you are probably wondering where I am going with this; be patient my friend and I will explain.

I have recently found a new form of confidence. My husband calls it obsession coupled with narcissism. At first I thought it came with marriage. I thought it came with age and hormones. About 5 months ago I began to feel bold and happier. After much thought, I realized it is because of my hair!!!!! Ok, so now you think I am completely bananas. My experience started at the end of August of 2011. After much soul searching and debate, I cut off all of my hair. I was going through what I deemed my "season." During that time, I hated everything. I had just moved into to a wonderful cozy and friendly town where everyone was friendly, but I did not know anyone. I constantly had to move mountains just to get a perm. On one occasion, I got so desperate that I convinced my husband to put a relaxer on it for me. He reluctantly agreed and swore me to secrecy that I would never tell anyone about the actions of that night (I am sorry Honey). There are some guys out there who can put a relaxer/perm a woman’s hair simply by the virtue of observing their mothers and sisters perming each other’s hair. Well, my husband never had a sister. My husband is also white and had never dealt with a black woman’s hair prior to meeting me. Knowing the aforementioned facts, I still agreed to let him perm it. It is never a good sign when your hair dresser mutters, “I hope this is how it is supposed to turn out.” To give him credit, all though the hair was not completely straight, it was enough to tame my wild mane. Knowing that he accomplished a task that few men have been able to master, my husband took to facebook to advertise his hair care services to future victims :-)

So reader, about two months later, I was in the same boat and even more desperate. I attempted to cut the hair myself but could not achieve the desired result. My husband supported me in my quest, but categorically refused to cut it. He was scared of the wrath I would release should I change my mind in the process. I went to a barber shop and told him to cut my hair as LOW as possible. After I disclosed my wishes, he gave me an incredulous look. We exchanged a few words after he refused to shave it off. Eventually, we reached a compromise, which was mainly just give him a chance to do his magic and if I did not like it then he would cut it like I wanted. He had me wait for 30 minutes, which was cool with me because I had to run some errands. He later revealed that he thought if he gave me time then I would cool off and change my mind. He thought I had fought with my man and was on a rampage. He gave me what most people would deem a boy cut, very short.

At first I shrunk as I walked around people. I feared that all eyes were on me and I was the subject of conversation. I felt scared that I would not be feminine enough. Even members of my family seemed leery of this new plan. Then it then dawned on me. How in the world can I be ahemm, 25 years old (wink) and never have just worn my God given hair? Going back to my friend, I marveled that it seemed strange to her that I was not going for a certain look, but just wanted to be content with wearing “me”. In retrospect, it seemed strange that there were more people worried about my hair than me and these individuals took offense that I dared to cut my hair. On a funny note, that same week, my neighbor asked me if I had visitors because he saw my husband walking around with a little boy (which turned out to be me).

It is now February 2012. I have been rocking the short natural cut for 6 months and I LOOOOOVE it! I lamented that no one told me how wonderful and low maintenance having a short natural cut could be. I am working on harnessing the peace that comes with simply accepting who I am and what God gave me. I tried going natural several years ago, but could not handle the head ache and the heart ache that was a result of not doing proper research. I have learned to embrace my natural hair. In this day and age, there are products that are available to help make our hair manageable. I have been watching youtube for product reviews and styling tips to learn what actually works for me. I am not a natural hair care product junkie, but what I have learned is that sometimes less is more. I am getting more mileage out of my Eighty-four cent conditioner than my $30 hair gel. I am enjoying myself as I work to get to know how to maintain and moisturize my natural hair but to live a healthier lifestyle. I can go to the gym and break out a sweat and never worry about the $65 that I spent at a salon because my hair cuts are only $5 and my conditioners are less than $2. All I am saying is, I love being able to jump in the shower and wash my entire body from head to toe. I love not worrying about flat ironing my hair or curling my hair. As with anything, there are days when I get frustrated and want to revert to what I am used to, i.e., the perm aka the “creamy crack.” Unlike most people, my journey is made easier because on the days when I get discouraged my sweet husband takes me in his arms, holds me tight and rocks me. He constantly reminds how beautiful I am and I believe him. His unfailing support warms my heart and dispels my fears. I am not saying perms are the devil; if they work for you, then I am thrilled. I am simply enjoying the exhilarating, sometimes maddening journey of knowing my kinky and tightly coiled hair. I write about my experience so those who come after me could never accuse me of being able to liberate them, but not doing so.

Throughout this process, I have come to abandon "self" (how the society defines me and how I in turn view myself) and finding “other” (the real me, how I truly am). I strive little by little to grasp and master the art of getting by. I talk about this in-depth in the blog entitled Musings of the Mind: how this Diva abandoned “self” and found “other.” With each passing day and every waking moment, I am learning how wonderful it is to be a woman and the little secrets that God has placed along my path! I encourage you to experience this journey with me.

Musings of the mind: how this Diva abandoned “self” and found “other.”

Like many people, in life, I am always in a hurry. My body might be here, but for the most part, my mind is always somewhere else. This has been something that I work to correct on a daily basis. My day dreaming started as a little girl. I would zone out and envision a life that others could never imagine. It is that world that I was queen. It is that world that made perfect sense. In that world I was normal. I have to admit, even in my mind, that world was too good to be true, the stuff dreams are made of. I used to think that other people were given a secret formula to life that bypassed me far and wide.

As I grew older, I learned to harness this imagination and eventually locked it in a small recess in the back of my mind. I got an education like most people and I obtained a nine to five in order to survive. I remember being sad when I finally realized that there are parts of this world that I will never see, never set foot on. Once I came to the realization, I began to resent reality. It pained me to think that enjoyment was something we had to plan. I had to constantly remind myself that even the long revered myth of unicorns was just that, a fictitious invention. The thought of a world without something so beautiful gripped tightly at my heart. Perhaps unicorns don’t exist because they are so perfect. Only the creative fictitious world that I created as a child could hold them.

For twenty-six years, I walked around attempting to assimilate. Conforming to what the society had embedded into me to identify myself. I immersed myself into this ID tag with all my might. It is this complex thing called “self” that I worked hard to be. I recall people telling me how “extroverted” and “outgoing” I was. Even though I lived it, breathed it and it was in front of my face, I did not see it. I still did not get it. They never saw the preparation it took to go into a room, they never sensed the nervousness, nor did they see the slight smile behind the pleading eyes that begged to know exactly what they were thinking and only begged for kindness. So, I became "self." I accepted their view of me and I played with the cards I was dealt, never letting them know that I was lost all the while.

 At twenty-six, I met someone who did not demand much. He did not see what they, the society saw. He saw the “other.” Slowly, he coaxed her out. He marveled at my imagination and listened as I described my dreams in detail, and he demanded more. The more he fed me, the more I wanted. I unfurled and reveled in his warm glow. I stopped thinking about "self" and instead, focused on the "other."

My awareness started to emerge but did not fully exit the shadows until three years later. Once the "other" took root, I abandoned "self." I embraced the bold vixen that emerged. I nurtured her and welcomed her albeit late appearance. It was in my 30^th year that a looked out of the shadows of my heart and stepped into the sunshine. I embraced the woman I had become. I began to look at the world around me, instead of fearing it. I once read that fear kills a man several times daily. I knew that to be true, I had died a thousand deaths. Now with the bold reserve to be an active participant, my views changed. As I slowly accepted myself, I started seeing the colors of the world. Although not as vivid as my childhood dreams, they enthralled me and begged me to take notice!

Now, my escape from reality comes from being in the moment. I relish the aches I get from watching and observing human interaction. I swoon at the look on parents faces as they dote on their children. No longer an outsider, I am a part of the society. I listen and share what people feel. I take comfort in the warm feel of my cute yorkies as they snuggle next to me and am amazed that they simply enjoy being next me. Their reaction reminds me of how awesome I am. I bask in my small victories. I have to consciously slow my thoughts down. When life gets rough and I want to revert to my daydream state, I remember how much I love being in the moment. It is with this bold sense of freedom that I march into 2012. I encourage you to do the same!