Sunday, June 19, 2011

The Comeback Queen

I have often been told, when you get down to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. For the most part, that is practical advice. The question becomes, how long can you hang on? To this I add, not only tie a knot, but know that you have options. I will elaborate more on this later. Far more frequently, I have been meeting Divas who are stuck in a rut. Some are going through the pain of losing a job, searching for a husband, feeling unfulfilled with their life and careers, while others are experiencing depression. In a world of go big or go home, it can be easy to lose perspective. So you are probably wondering, what’s a girl to do? Well the first step Beloved, is to remember that you have options. Simply tie the knot, but know that you can use it in various ways to get yourself out of your situation. Use the knot to propel yourself out of your situation. If playing Tarzan isn’t your thing, then use the knot as a wrung and slowly, inch your way back up. All these are options, and there are many more. To those Divas that are feeling down, if you find yourself watching re-run after re-run of Judge Judy or other daytime television shows, step away from the television and remember that you have options. Don’t let the small tasks feel daunting to you. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day and you can’t tackle all your issues in one day. One of the smartest and compassionate Law School professors, Don Judges once calmed me down with one question. In the midst of my panic attack, he calmly looked at me and asked: “How do you eat an elephant?” I was taken aback as his question came out of left field. He then stated, “One bite at a time.” I have been out of Law School for two years and his words have been a source of comfort and a catalyst when I am stuck or overwhelmed by my situation.  Start small and move up.  If dishes are piling up in the sink, start with the easiest task. Little by little reinvent yourself and become “the come- back queen”.  A Divo (a male version of a Diva) once said “I am happy because I know what it’s like to be sad and I never want to end up there again.” From the intense look in his eyes, I believed him. I think what he learned is that there are options. So you don’t have the job you want, get another one until you can get the one you want. So your dreams are on hold and you are waiting for your big break, do something else in the meantime. Bottom-line: Don’t just sit there and feel sorry for yourself. There are going to be setbacks, but know that your situation will change.  Divas, envision yourself the way you want to be and work on it. To those Divas and Divos who are struggling, know that I support you and I am sending you the biggest cyber hug you can imagine. From one Diva to another, keep the faith, continue dreaming and remain fabulous!