Monday, October 31, 2011

Defending Kim Kardashian

Defending Kim
I woke up this morning and the world was abuzz with news of the Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphreys split. After the much televised and gossiped about wedding took place, there was nothing left for the world to do but speculate about the couple’s impending divorce and wish them the worst. When they were together, everyone rooted for them to fail. When they finally did split up, instead of the naysayers breathing a sigh of relief, they seem to have unleashed their rage against Kim. Having so many people speculating why they were together and why they had a lavish wedding, could anyone expect them to make it? I am shocked and would like to address two issues that I have with everyone’s response: 1.) Marriage is a covenant between two individuals, why is Kim the bad guy?, and 2.) It’s Kim and Kris’ marriage, how does its dissolution affect the world?

Marriage is a covenant between two individuals: why is Kim the bad guy?
A majority of the tweets, facebook status updates and blogs have been slamming Kim about filing for divorce. Some seem to paint her soon to be ex-husband as being duped into proposing to her (the man-eater). Last time I watched “Keeping up with the Kardashians” it was Kris Humphreys who got down on his knees amidst a room lined with candles and a rug littered with rose petals to propose Kim. Having been around her and her family, I am sure he knew very well what he was getting himself into. He is 26 years old and, even if he was beguiled by the charm and the money, he had a chance to back out; he did not. I do not consider myself a feminist by any means, but it saddens me to see that the woman is once again being blamed for the breakdown of a marriage. Granted, the sacred marriage lasted only 72 days, but why is she automatically the villain? That being said, I have heard nothing but negative comments about the Kardashian-Humphreys marriage from inception. I don’t propose to know the girl, but from watching shows and reading about her, perhaps they both fell fast and madly for each other but did not have the support system to honestly tell them to slow down and keep their feet grounded. With a mother who practically pushed her to the altar, it’s no wonder the couple did not take time to know each other.

I can attest that marriage is a good thing, AND I can also say that marriage takes work, patience and teamwork. Not every tingling feeling is love and even love if not properly fed and nourished dies. I also don’t think we should judge Kim and Kris since we don’t know what led to their “irreconcilable differences.”  Would the world still react harshly towards her if we discovered other details that would have led an average newlywed to file for a divorce? By shunning and prejudging her so publicly, are we sending a message to our youth to simply “grin and bear it?”

 72 days may be short for most individuals, but depending on what they were going through (i.e., domestic violence), it may be exactly enough for a party to ascertain the need to get out. I support the institution of marriage; therefore, I think it would have been worse for the young couple to stay married for the sake of saving face. I also caution people to remember that both Kim and Kris are people, and a barrage of words, even from strangers, can cause a world of hurt.

It’s Kim and Kris’ marriage, how does its dissolution affect the world?
I have read threads that range from people feeling emotionally betrayed, citing the wedding and nuptials as a sham, to expressing outrage at the amount of money spent on the wedding. My take on it is: Why does it matter? How can anyone derive any form of satisfaction from two individuals divorcing? If people felt so passionate and adamant against the couple getting married, why did they not try to do something about it before they said “I do” (i.e., send Kim or Kris a warning tweet)? Now that they are headed towards splitsville, everyone feels the need to tweet and retweet the announcement that the couple is calling it quits. For those who expressed shock at the amount of money spent on the wedding, well, it’s what they wanted, AND no, that money could not have helped the orphans in Somalia, Tajikistan or wherever remote place that people are starving, because it would have probably been spent on something else. To those who point and wag their fingers about what the couple is teaching our youth I would say, the lesson begins with you. If you, or anyone for that matter, are letting our youth learn important life lesson from reality TV shows, I would say hie thee to the nearest Big Brother Big Sister, Boys and Girls Club, Boy Scouts of America, Girl Scouts of America or the local YMCA.  Finally, for those fans who feel hurt and betrayed that the couple is splitting, you may have been “there” when the cameras were rolling (notice the sarcastic quotation marks), but you certainly have not been a part of the marriage after the cameras stopped rolling. It is only news because we make it news. If it indeed was publicity stunt (which I highly doubt), then they have succeeded in their ploy. I urge you to take a chance that it was not a publicity stunt. In that case, we should put ourselves in their shoes and let them go through their season with dignity.