So I left El Dorado, AR and went to Little Rock for a two day work trip. I was
super excited to be reunited with my two friends (husband and wife) who recently
moved from El Dorado to Little Rock, AR to pursue their fortunes in a big city. I
was also looking forward to spending the night in their swanky new flat (it is
nice ya’ll). As we neared their place, she suggested that we park behind her
house and slip in through her back yard fence. This would keep us from having
to walk really far with our shopping bags, groceries and an active toddler (she
is adorable). The plan seemed sensible and being the lazy girl that I am, I
quickly agreed (it had been a long day, a story for another blog). As we pulled
in to the parking space directly in front of her back yard, I gathered my
things and lined them inside the back yard, on the other side of the fence.
The back yard was encased in a wrought iron fence. The fence was much like
the one pictured here except with slightly larger spacing. First, my friend’s husband who is tall and slender
slipped effortlessly between the bars to the other side. He then assisted his
little girl who is equally as slender. As I handed him the last bag of
groceries, I decided to cross to the other side. I cautiously put my foot through
the bar. Except….something was not quite right. My thighs felt tight and the
more of my torso that I added, the more resistance I met. Undaunted, I decided
to try leading with my upper body. I squiggled and squeezed (I felt like I was
getting a free mammogram).
Side note, October is breast cancer awareness month, ladies please make sure to do a monthly self exam. It takes less than a minute and it is free. For more information please visit Susan G.Komen for the Cure .
Alas, not even half a boob could go through the fence. Again, I decided to
employ a different approach and lead with my entire left side. As I squirmed to
get even a couple inches past, I had a vision of a scene from Lord of the
Rings. The more I struggled, the more the scene where Gandalf yelled, “You
shall not pass! You shall not pass! You shall not pass!” flashed through my
mind. I finally decided to give up. My friend gave me an understanding but sympathetic
smile. I stood there, wishing the ground would open and swallow me up. I couldn't dare to ask her to help squish me through, but I could not go on trying to
squeeze through the fence, looking like Free Willy (you get this reference if
you were raised in the 90’s). I simply did not want to try until I got trapped
(that is not how I want to be featured on the 5 O’clock news).
Alas, the skinny gods had decided that I was not to pass. I have read
novels and watched movies where the skinny girl had a fat friend, but I had
never really thought about it in real life. Then it dawned on me, I.was.the.fat.friend!
(Ish got real…very fast). As I stood on the other side, looking longingly at
the door that was only a couple feet away, I felt a wave of frustration well up
inside me. Sensing my discomfort, my friend asked her husband if he would mind
walking me around to the main entrance while she took the baby inside. He acquiesced
and again effortlessly glided in-between the fence posts back to the outside.
His wife picked up the diaper bag and she too squeezed her fit frame through
the fence to the other side.
As we walked to the main gate, I felt a sense of sadness. How had this
become? How had the junk in my trunk increased exponentially? How was it that I
could not even dare to squeeze even one lovely lady lump on to the other side
of the fence?
Have you experienced something similar or have you been denied entrance through the "fence" of life? If so, how did you handle it? Feel
free to comment.
